


That First Time

by 401



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angry Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/401/pseuds/401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers remembers the first time he kissed Bucky Barnes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That First Time

**Author's Note:**

> TW homophobic language

Steve remembered the first time he and Bucky had kissed. Bucky had been acting strange, real strange for months, avoiding Steve’s touch in any way, even avoiding looking him in the eye sometimes. Steve had been filled with fear at this new attitude. Fear that Bucky was becoming like the other guys they knew, ones that would throw soda cans and stones at Rogers if he stared too long or smiled as he passed. The ones who called him a ‘fairy’ or a ‘queer’. Bucky was ashamed of him, he was sure of it. That is, he was sure until that one night, when the months of coldness and distance became clear.

 

_“Buck?” Steve uttered cautiously, “You alright?”_

_Bucky was sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees with a bottle of beer hanging loosely from his hand._

_“Just fine Stevie,” Bucky murmured flatly, “You must be spent, you should go to bed.”_

_It was 7:00 pm and Bucky knew that Steve hadn’t been at work._

_Steve felt a small wave of irritation swell inside him._

_“Hey,” Steve tried to square his shoulders a little, “Cut the crap and tell me what’s going on, James.”_

_Steve cringed a little at the sound of himself trying to sound angry. He wasn’t angry at all, in truth he was devastated. There was a not too distant time when Steve would have been that first person Bucky would have told if something was wrong. He would have sat next to Steve on the couch, getting adorably frustrated, throwing his hands up in exasperation when words failed him and finally giving up, head in his hands._

_“I don’t know what to do, Steve.”_

_Steve sat down next to Bucky, taking the beer bottle out of his hand gently and putting on the floor by their feet._

_“About what, pal?” Steve put an affectionate hand on the back of Bucky’s neck, but he flinched away from the touch. Steve raised his eyebrows._

_“What in the hell was that for?” Steve was genuinely angry this time, his cheeks heating at the rejection._

_Bucky shook his head but Steve kept waiting for his answer._

_“Just don’t like it when you do that, is all,” Bucky mumbled unconvincingly._

_Steve huffed a sarcastic laugh and stood back up, all five feet six inches of him bristling with defence and embarrassment._

_“You’re like those guys now, are ya’?” Steve shouted, “They’ve got into your head about me?”_

_Bucky said nothing._

_“You’re my best friend Buck! You think me touching you like that’s gonna’ mean anything? What, you think you’re gonna ‘catch the queer’ off me? I put up with that crap from everyone else Buck, I sure as heck don’t need it from you!” Steve tried to regulate his fast, angry breathing, feeling his chest tighten and his voice croak a little before turning to leave the room._

_He cussed as hot, betraying tears ran down his cheeks._

_“You don’t understand, Steve,” Bucky’s voice was louder now, shaky but still harsh._

_Steve wheeled round, ready for the clash, fists balled at his sides but his demeanour sank when he saw Bucky’s face. His cheeks were damp and hot with tears, he looked furious and terrified at the same time. It was a face Steve Rogers would not see again until many, many years after that._

_“You have no idea what it’s like to live with you, every day I’m so close to you and I have to fight constantly because… because I want you so bad,” Bucky panted heatedly, “And I’m trying to pretend I don’t cause it scares me, Stevie.”_

_Steve was frozen in place, eyes wide with shock at the admission._

_“You…what?” Steve whispered, his voice didn’t sound like his._

_Bucky nodded, looking away._

_“Didn’t even know I liked fellas really, until you,” The sergeant’s eyes were low, looking at his feet like a scolded child._

_Steve crossed the distance between them and put his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, they were still shaky with emotion. Steve nudged Bucky’s chin up to look at him._

_“You didn’t tell me,” Steve said softly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”_  
  


_Bucky frowned and shook his head. Steve flattened a cowlick that had sprung up behind Bucky’s ear before letting his hands rest on Bucky’s cheeks._

_“Dumbass,” Steve whispered, before pressing his lips to Bucky’s like he had wanted to since he met him._

_Bucky gasped and his hands stayed static in the air for a moment, unsure of what they should do. He set them on Steve’s waist, pulling the smaller man closer when he felt what he had been aching to feel for far too long. He deepened the kiss, taking Steve’s bottom lip into his mouth and running his tongue along it gently, feeling the blonde shiver at the sensation. Steve gripped the tops of Bucky’s arms, enjoying the feel of strength under his hands. Bucky’s lips moved to his neck, small huffs of panting breath blowing over Steve’s collarbone and making him buzz._

_“Sorry, Steve,” Bucky kissed into the soft skin._

_“You should be,” Steve teased before locking their lips together once again._


End file.
